What is this blogging all about...??

I write, therefore I am.

Grrr...wish I could crumple that into a nondescript paper ball n throw it into the bin!

Tempted to try and think of the 'perfect' beginning to this blog...but like a zillion other times - I would've ended up waiting for eternity...coz there ain't no such thing as a 'perfect' beginning...or is it?

The truth is that I have begun. (Woah!) And that it has taken a lot for me to get here...no no, not those hours of searching for the 'perfect' name (there I go again!)...this is about all that went on inside my head before I got myself to blog.

'What's the big deal?!'

Sighhh...the scene is that with me (as you will gradually realise) even seemingly tiny things are big deals...well, call that magnified living if you please...anything but 'blowing it outta proportion'! I'm not, ok!

The truth is I don't know what is this all about...or do I?

I've always loved writing - to myself and others. But then, that was selective writing. For a selective audience. Not a public space where I'd put up a part of myself for others to see and comment on.

Ahhhh...there...now we're talking! Allow me to explain.

Too many questions - What will I write about? Who would read it? Would any one even want to read all of THAT? Am I writing only for someone to read it? Will what I write (and how) be driven by comments from friends and strangers? Have I learnt to deal with unsolicited judgements? Am I mature enough to detach myself from what happens once I press the 'Publish Post' Key? Or is it ok to be attached in the first place? What will this lead to? Does it even matter? Will I be consistent? Will I even begin?!!

Haan..so like I was saying - a lot has gone into the creation of this space (more on 'space' some other time) The question (again?!) now is - what is this all about?!

It's about me thinking out aloud. It's about me yearning to express. It's about a glimpse into my life. Into my mind. It's about a glimpse into your own. It's about things you may never have thought of. It's about those which you always had on your mind. It's about listening to a new voice. It's about realising that the voice is actually within you. It's about indulging in the abstract. About engaging in pseudo-philosophy. It's about drawing out meaning from meaninglessness. It's about wanting to reach out. About wanting to scream out n say to the world 'Hell, life can be way better than this!' It's about offerring a sneak peak into a dream life. It's about showing that there are other ways. About realising that there is no need to show anyone anything. It's about me blabbering on and on. It's about you reading all of THAT.

It's about you. It's about me. More about me I guess (How does it matter?! Errr...may be it does)

So...looks like we are headed somewhere aren't we... ;)

I Dont Know...

'I don't know'
is an excuse
a way of saying 'I don't want to know'
or that I haven't bothered to
nor will I bother right now.

'I don't know'
is a closed door
slapped shut in your face
a way of avoiding further questions
A shrug that's a full-stop.

'I don't know'
is allowing confusion to stay,
vagueness to remain.
'I don't know' is an escape.

But
'I don't know'
can also be an admission of ignorance
a show of humility
like a parent saying
'I might not always know'.
a new beginning -
'I don't know yet,
but I'm willing to find out'.
'I don't know' is opening up
to the world of multiple answers

'I don't know'
can as much be a first step
as the last one.

Back to Square One...

That’s me back to  my alma-mater..!

What made me go back to my school life??

I met this friend of mine today n we were yapping about d school time 

n about d real fun we had.So nostalgic it was with unforgettable memories.

To tell u, I have studied in a co-ed school! People during that time go "WHAAT" at this, then may be I should tell its fun to be in a co-ed than convent. Though I had an “all girls” school d nearest from my house but m glad I was in this school! People tell me I have missed so many things in life by not being able to study with 'only gals… “the all gals fun” I missed.. really..?? 

Funny but I have never felt so. I have had my share of fun and feel I couldn't have done so many things in my life had I only studied with gals! Though at times they do get on my nerves! Haha..

  

My fond memories date back to class 9.  We were a gang of gals n guys.. oh the fun we had interrogating our class teacher about geometrical problems! Though we knew them quite well 

it was fun to still pester her n see her zapped with d number of questions we asked..! I spent 10 years of school life which is so special to me n then spent the boring junior college life of 2 yrs in science! Argghh… I hate to remember it!

If there is one reason why I did not enjoy my junior college then it should be that I always compared it to my dear school. But, I'd like to mention I did have my share of fun in college too,

thanks to my dear Medical college where I spent my 5 yrs n lived my life dude….i just completed my graduation n dats y everything is so fresh n bright.

I vividly remember bunking classes to grab a bite in our college canteen n sit out there for hours,sneaking out from the other side of the classroom door, to watch a dumb movie (yeah I sneaked!), getting multiple fraud signatures on journals and assignments, entering the wrong classroom for the wrong lecture (on purpose), and the list goes on! 

All this and more but if someone gave me an option to choose between school or college (travelling back in time), I'd choose School, any day!

What makes school so special?

1) Uniform: The only apparel that could accommodate the rich and the poor equally. No one in school was rich or poor, we wore the same dress that cost us all the same!

2) Teachers: You may be in 10th, 8th, 6th or even in 2nd grade, but to your teacher you are always a kid! They come behind you for everything and try to teach you everything and make sure you score well, and are always concerned about you! All of this may have annoyed us, but I yearned for all this in college. In college, it was the 'who-cares' attitude...

I know they only meant to make you more responsible or mature or whatever, 

but school made you feel special and wanted.

3) The canteen: The not-so-appealing yet hunger gratifying food that the school canteen sells! The Rs. 5 vada pav, Rs. 3 samosas, Re. 2 chai…, Rejoice cold drink!!!, agreed not very tasty, but then where else will you find all this? Sometimes you can be served the best gourmet meal but you'd yearn for the time you spent in your school canteen, may be not for the food, but definitely for the company!

4) The funny faculty: Every school must/should have someone called the funny-guy/lady! Luckily, I met the world's most funniest sir in school! I was healthy in class 10, reason: I studied under this sir.He taught us English! He made us laugh all the time, during class, after class, with friends and even today his memories bring laughter! If you meet your friends 10 years down, you'd say "Hey, remember so-and-so, he used to say this! LOL."

5) P.T Time: Sports period as we all called it, was the most annoying or best (always depends on whether you are the sports field types or not!) period of the day's time-table (yes, lectures were periods n break was recess….funny) We  used go to the school grounds and display our athletic or other skills! The best part is the 'P.T misses' (in context to my school) were all not-fit-trim and got tired easily and they would leave us on our own! And...P.T periods became chit-chat sessions while pretending to throw the damned ball somewhere!

6) Sports Day: Yes I m quite a sportsperson. Sports day, goes without saying, the best time of the school year! You are made to march, perform drills, run relays and play silly games while proud parents watch you running around the field and the occasionally yell words of encouragement! I could march decently, n it was good to feel that I was the commander n flag bearer of my school squad! I would try my hand at games like volley ball, throw ball ! :D But deep down inside my heart, I always wanted to run...well! Ah and drill!

It was the most beautiful part of sports day, we were always given funny costumes and made to hold weird props and DANCE! Yes drill was nothing but 'Dance' to the loud drum beats, LEFT LEFT LEFT-RIGHT-LEFT!

7) Annual day: oooohhhhhhh…….. that’s  my favourite time of the year. Bunking lessons, rejoicing n rehearsing for various stage performances during school teaching hours. We had all kinds of programmes from all classes n every student gets an opportunity to showcase his/her talent.. be it dance, dramatics, singing, instrumental, photography, debates, impromptu speeches by our chief guests followed by prize distribution for our outstanding genius pals!(well, I was never on the receiving end after my 8^th  grade) being so engrossed in the committee- comparers, decoration, adornments, invites, rehearsals n other formalities  we never got time to know about whats happening academically!

8) Children's day celebration: Some fond memories bring tears! Gosh, teachers present a cute assembly, they transform into kids and entertain us, basically our day....No words!


9) Teacher's day: Our turn to show our gratitude to all these blessed beings!


10) Examinations: Oh yes, the finale! School cannot be school without the numerous mid-terms, half-yearly, blah! But, funny, exams are the only things that follow us from school...absolutely nothing else does...
It's like we are leaving behind the child in us back in school :(


Did I forget computers?? :)

Oh and yes, that's me sleeping in class, surrounded by my friends giving the victorious look, for reasons I did not understand! (foxpro, C++ n ohh craapp…they’d be joking..!!)

Dats me...

Random word cloud:

Log on to Wordle.net to create ur own word cloud....

i ve just created mine... its fun!! ;)

Can't believe i was taught this rubbish in my Nursery!!

Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top, 

when the wind blows the cradle will rock, 

when the bough breaks the cradle will fall, 

down will come baby, cradle and all.  

Can you get more negative?  

Why didn't they just tell us the baby and the cradle was safe all through. 

And who leaves a baby on the tree top anyway? 

Then we have our dear Humpty, who's only sitting on a wall and chilling.

But they tell us, 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, 

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall; 

All the King's horses 

And all the king's men. 

Cannot put Humpty Dumpty Together again. 

Why? Why all the negativeness?  

They don't spare dear Jack and Jill who simply go up the hill to fetch some water...

but NO, They throw them down too.  

Jack and Jill went up the hill, 

To fetch a pail of water,

Jack fell down and broke his crown, 

And Jill came tumbling after.  

Then, they even threw us all down... 

Ring-a-ring-a-roses, 

A pocket full of posies; 

Hush! hush! hush! hush! 

We're all tumbled down.  

I ask why? 

Why didn't the baby just sleep on his mother's lap? 

Why didn't  poor humpty have a breezy evening n safely get back home? 

Why didn't Jack and Jill bring back the water safely?

Why did we all 'tumble down' when playing?  

Why?  

They should seriously write Positive stuff.   

You get the picture. 

I can't believe I was taught all this!

Foreign v/s Indian

Here's how it goes...

X: Where are you studying? 

Y: Indian school of some course (with much pride). 

X: Oh! (sounding yeah-bleh-thoo!) 

Y: and you? 

X: I'm going to pursue a bleh bloo course at the crappy uni in the crappy state 

of the crappy country.A Foreign degree!  

My foot!  

On inquiring about future plans for studies, another 'Y' tells me - I'll do a degree only in the 

foreign land else I'd rather continue working! I asked her - not looking for options in India? 

She says, 'No. Only foreign. I want to go abroad.' 

Me: Are you saying options are better abroad? 

Y: Nah! I wont' even look for options here. India is boring. I'll go abroad.

WTH ya. I feel like slapping such people.  

What's with the notion that Indian degrees are useless? I mean, it's ok if people go abroad 

bcoz course structures are good or exposure is better or even pay is neat -

but not when they say Indian degrees are boring or India itself is boring.

  

When I tell people that I'm pursuing my medicine in a college in my city, some of them go, 

'why didn't you go abroad?;' you didn't get anywhere else na?;' 'Cha so sad'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

and some of them even say, 'her life is so boring. stuck in India!'  

and some of these irritating ppl, compare my profile with others saying, 'ah she went abroad.

Smart girl..why didn't this one go?'  meanies! Seriously, who gave them the authority to provide

people with certificates? lol! 

anyways, not digressing too much. let's get back. Yeah, so some people think it's demeaning to 

pursue a course in India.

Oh, I almost forgot, it's a trend now that if you're rich, you automatically qualify to study abroad. 

Sigh! 

So this guy I know, goes to London 'cos he's rich and nothing else. 

He's gonna get back to Mumbai to assist his dad in their family business,

but, ' I want a foreign degree yaar' he says!  

may be he can flash the 'London' tag to his prospective partner. Ya what else can it bring? 

'My husband studied in Australia you know?' she can share with her kitty friends! lol!  

Sigh man!  

Ok people, stop thinking Indian degrees are useless. Some of the best research is done in India.

Some of the most brilliant students have the most the prestigious IIM and IIT tags. 

Some of the most creative ppl come from places like NID, JJ.

Some of the most eminent doctors come out of KEM, St. George. 

So you see, it's not where you study, but how you study. And, why be ashamed of India?  

Poor India didn't do anything. Why stab it and label it boring?

Study well all you 'faar-rin' degree holders!:p :p

PASSION OR PROFESSION...??

A dilemma freaking the hell out of me!

Dance is my Passion (it was & will always be) 

Doctor is 'now' my Profession.

A very dear friend of mine asked me the other day,

"why did u choose to be a doctor??"

and guess wat..i had the precise answer to it n i dont kno y...

just could not answer to my satisfaction!

now what does this indicate...?? i tried to figure out....

i asked myself, " Ain't i satisfied with my profession?"

I m confused..........!!!

well, to tell u... me as a child had always dreamt of this

that one day i will have a prefix in my name as "dr.rachna"

yes, finally it became true..
but wat d heck...!! why do i have this mixed feeling 

of happiness yet discontent...(i m going crazy...)

N yes there is another flip side to this..

since my good old kiddy days, school going days 
n adolescence days, i was n I am, highly influenced 
by the Glitz n Glamor World-"fashionista",

high fashion trends, haute couture, style icons....
(how chic is that...!)....shutterbugs..click..click..click...!!

being ardent fan of all kinds of music, cinema, the ohh! 
so glamorous page 3 celebs walking down the aisle...

i wonder, have all these things taken a backseat because i am into medicine..??

i guess this unbound interest inspired in me- my passion for dance!

Dance for me is just not a medium to relax my muscle tissues.

i live it, i breathe it, it is inborn, within me n i feel blessed for what i have.

(now this is what i call.. passion…)

my soul aim of writing this is that, there are thousands of aspirants like me, 

who at some stage of their life were in a dilemma--

to choose between a passion & profession...to them i'd like to say...

Damn, get into the right frame of ur mind, widen your imagination 
in both the fields n work on it par excellence..

Just take the initial step n the rest will follow.

Today as i look upto myself, i dont really know whats in store for me in future,

but one thing i know is that- my mainstream is my profession.

it gives me the dignity and honour of benevolence,

it gives me the name, respect n the faith of many human hearts.

(i know m sounding cliche now…)

About my passion, i feel, it will surely follow through me as i step forward.

Just waiting for the right time dude... & bang on... way to go...!!

Till then, its me dr.rachna.... signing off... stay glam!!